Dating and Courtship

Not an end in itself, but the preparation for the most important decision a person makes in this life.

What Dating Is For

For Latter-day Saints, dating is not recreation without direction. It is the process by which a person prepares for and moves toward eternal marriage — the covenant on which exaltation depends. That purpose gives dating its seriousness. It is how a man and a woman come to know each other well enough to decide whether to be sealed together for time and all eternity.

Because marriage is that significant, the choice of whom to marry is one of the most important decisions of mortal life. Dating is the ground on which that decision is made, and it deserves the same care.

The Standards That Govern It

The law of chastity applies fully to dating. Physical intimacy is reserved for marriage, and couples are counseled to stay well clear of anything that would compromise it. This is not distrust of young people; it is protection of the very relationship they are trying to build. Purity before marriage lays a foundation of trust that carries into it.

Beyond chastity, wholesome dating means treating the other person as a son or daughter of God, not as an object or a conquest — with respect, honesty, and kindness. How a person dates reveals how they will treat a spouse.

Choosing Wisely

Because the aim is an eternal companionship, shared faith and values matter more than almost anything else. Scripture asks a plain question about walking together toward the same destination.

Amos 3:3

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

A couple who share a commitment to the gospel are building on the same foundation. Character, faithfulness, kindness, and worthiness to be married in the temple are the things worth looking for — and worth being, since a person attracts what they are.

Key References